Completing the Stress Cycle
As we inch closer to the holiday season, many of us may be feeling an increase in anxiety, sadness, worry, frustration, the list could go on and on. We are experiencing collective grief and a loss for the world we once knew while simultaneously having to quickly adapt to this new landscape.
Sometimes in our haste to keep moving forward, we don't even notice our stress. As Dori in Finding Nemo advises, we "just keep swimming", operating amidst the chronic hum of stress but never completing the 'stress cycle'.
The stress cycle is the moment when our bodies recalibrate and settle after facing danger, reassuring ourselves that we are now safe. For our ancestors, the stress cycle began when they found themselves chased by a tiger and completed with their safe return to the village.
For us, the stress cycle might begin with a breaking news alert on our phones about the coronavirus but instead of completing the stress cycle, we continue to scroll. Our adrenaline and cortisol levels are spiking at that moment, just like our ancestors and the tiger but instead of returning to a sense of safety, we distract ourselves.
So what can we do to complete our stress cycles? The authors of the book Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, Dr. Emily Nagoski and Dr. Amelia Nagoski outline seven different ways to move out of this fight/flight/freeze response.
1. Move: Running, dancing, swimming, whatever: the Nagoskis note that exercise is 'your first line of attack in the battle against burnout.' Aim for 20 to 60 minutes a day
2. Breathe: Focus your attention on deep, slow breaths. Even a minute of focusing on your breath can help.
3. Talk to People: casual interaction with people directly around you can shift you out of the stress response. Strike up a short conversation with the barista or say 'hello' to the security guard.
4. Laugh: find a silly animal video, or watch some stand-up, or even just reminisce about a hilarious moment in your life.
5. Speak to Loved Ones: Reach out to someone that you feel a deep connection with and with whom you feel mutual respect and trust.
6. Cry: the adage "crying doesn't solve anything" needs to be tossed out because it turns out it does, it helps complete a stress cycle.
7. Do Something Creative: Start doodling, pick up those old watercolors, do some creative writing, artistic expression helps unlock parts of ourselves we might not even be able to access or articulate.
Completing the stress cycle is imperative to our health and to our ability to be in healthy relationship with others. Give yourself permission to feel and process the feelings to complete the cycle.
Warmly,
Carrie
P.S. Highly recommend the Nagoskis book cited here, Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle. There is also a great episode of Brene Brown's podcast with the authors!